Step Into Power

Ever since I was a young girl, I have been anxious about public speaking. I shy away from the spotlight. I fear being the center of attention. In group settings, I usually wait until everyone else has spoken up before I raise my hand to share what I have to say through a pounding heart. It has taken me a long time to find my voice and I am still working on building confidence in speaking it. Starting this blog and sharing my written words has been one step in that direction. As I have gotten more comfortable with this modality, I am aware that fear still holds me back from stepping into a bigger role in my life.

I wake up most mornings with sweaty palms and feet and a vague sense of anxiety. I have tried to ask myself, my body, and my inner guidance for a long time, what is this anxiety trying to tell me. This morning, on my yoga mat, perhaps because I was finally ready to hear it, I was gifted with my answer. My higher self told me that the anxiety I feel most mornings is a sign that I have not fully stepped into my power. Do you know how it’s natural to get anxious before some performance or event, but then the anxiety abates after it’s over? Well my anxiety hasn’t abated yet because I have not fully stepped into what I am here to do in this lifetime. It’s like waiting for my turn at a recital, but then not ever getting up to play my piece, but just sitting there waiting with the anxiety. My anxiety is gifting me with greater clarity on how fear is still holding me back. Fear of visibility. Fear of stepping up and being a leader and how that will open me up to the opinions and judgments of others. Fear of rejection. Fear of failure. Fear of speaking my truth when it is not the mainstream view. Lots and lots of fears, which has kept me waiting in the wings, with my anxiety.

So as I have experienced over and over now, as soon as I can acknowledge a fear and look at it straight in the eye, the fear shrinks and my confidence grows. Because I know I am here in this lifetime to play a leadership role in the healing of humanity’s consciousness. I am here to reconnect humanity to the innate wisdom in our bodies, the natural world, and the universal Source. I have a soul contract to honor and I am a woman of my word and my honor.